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Knock, knock…

 

I don’t think these need an intro…

 

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Abyssinia’ ~ ‘Abyssinia who?’ ~ ‘Abyssinia when I get back!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Adair’ ~ ‘Adair who?’ ~ ‘Adair once, but now I’m bald!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Adam’ ~ ‘Adam who?’ ~ ‘Adam up and give me the total!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Adolf’ ~ ‘Adolf who?’ ~ ‘Adolf ball hit me in de mowf!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Ahmed’ ~ ‘Ahmed who?’ ~ ‘Ahmed a big mistake coming here!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Aladdin’ ~ ‘Aladdin who?’ ~ ‘Aladdin the street wants a word with you!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Alex’ ~ ‘Alex who?’ ~ ‘Alex plain later!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Alfred’ ~ ‘Alfred who?’ ~ ‘Alfred the needle if you sew!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Ali’ ~ ‘Ali who?’ ~ ‘Ali Mentary my dear Watson!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Alison’ ~ ‘Alison who?’ ~ ‘Alison to my radio in the mornings!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Ammonia’ ~ ‘Ammonia who?’ ~ ‘Ammonia little person and I can’t reach the doorbell!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Amy’ ~ ‘Amy who?’ ~ ‘Amy fraid I’ve forgotten!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Annie’ ~ ‘Annie who?’ ~ ‘Annie one you like!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Arch’ ~ ‘Arch who?’ ~ ‘Gesundheit!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Bashful’ ~ ‘Bashful who?’ ~ ‘I can’t tell you, I’m too bashful!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Beats’ ~ ‘Beats who?’ ~ ‘Beats me, I forgot the joke!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Bigotry’ ~ ‘Bigotry who?’ ~ ‘Bigotry than the one in your garden!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Bless’ ~ ‘Bless who?’ ~ ‘Thanks, but I didn’t sneeze!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Broken pencil’ ~ ‘Broken pencil who?’ ~ ‘Never mind; it’s pointless…’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Chester’ ~ ‘Chester who?’ ~ ‘Chester minute, don’t you recognise me?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Cows’ ~ ‘Cows who?’ ~ ‘No, cows moo!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Danielle’ ~ ‘Danielle who?’ ~ ‘Danielle so loud, I heard you the first time!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Des’ ~ ‘Des who?’ ~ ‘Des no bell, that’s why I’m knocking!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Diana’ ~ ‘Diana who?’ ~ ‘Diana thirst, can I have some water please?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Dishes’ ~ ‘Dishes who?’ ~ ‘Dishes the police, open up!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Dismay’ ~ ‘Dismay who?’ ~ ‘Dismay surprise you, but I want to come in!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Doctor’ ~ ‘Doctor who?’ ~ ‘That’s right; where’s my Tardis?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Doorbell Repairman!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Doughnut’ ~ ‘Doughnut who!’ ~ ‘Doughnut open the door whatever you do!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Duke’ ~ ‘Duke who?’ ~ ‘Duke come here often!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Dunnap’ ~ ‘Dunnap who?’ ~ ‘Eeeugh!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Egbert’ ~ ‘Egbert who?’ ~ ‘Egbert no bacon please!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Eileen’ ~ ‘Eileen who?’ ~ ‘Eileen’d on your doorbell and broke it!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Ellis’ ~ ‘Ellis who?’ ~ ‘Ellis before M in the dictionary!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Elsie’ ~ ‘Elsie who?’ ~ ‘Elsie you later!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Emma’ ~ ‘Emma who?’ ~ ‘Emma bit cold out here, will you let me in?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Europe’ ~ ‘Europe who?’ ~ ‘Europe early this morning!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Europe’ ~ ‘Europe who?’ ~ ‘Noooo, you’re a poo!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Eva’ ~ ‘Eva who?’ ~ ‘Eva you’re deaf or your doorbell isn’t working!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Ewan’ ~ ‘Ewan who?’ ~ ‘No, just me!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Fitzwilliam’ ~ ‘Fitzwilliam who?’ ~ ‘Fitzwilliam better than it fits me!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Francis’ ~ ‘Francis who?’ ~ ‘Francis on the other side of the Channel!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Gladys’ ~ ‘Gladys who!’ ~ ‘Gladys Friday, aren’t you!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Gorilla’ ~ ‘Gorilla who?’ ~ ‘Gorilla cheese sandwich for me and I’ll be right over!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Gus’ ~ ‘Gus who?’ ~ ‘That’s what you’re supposed to do!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Hammond’ ~ ‘Hammond who?’ ~ ‘Hammond cheese on toast, please!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Handsome’ ~ ‘Handsome who?’ ~ ‘Handsome chocolate over and I’ll tell you!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Harriet’ ~ ‘Harriet who?’ ~ ‘Harriet all my lunch, I’m starving!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Harry’ ~ ‘Harry who?’ ~ ‘Harry up and open this door!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Hawaii’ ~ ‘Hawaii who?’ ~ ‘I’m fine thanks, how are you!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Heaven’ ~ ‘Heaven who?’ ~ ‘Heaven seen you in ages!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Hell’ ~ ‘Hell who?’ ~ ‘Hello to you too!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Henrietta’ ~ ‘Henrietta who?’ ~ ‘Henrietta toadstool, but thought it was a mushroom!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Hijack’ ~ ‘Hijack who?’ ~ ‘Hijack, how’s Jill?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Honeydew’ ~ ‘Honeydew who?’ ~ ‘Honeydew you want to come out tonight?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Howard’ ~ ‘Howard who?’ ~ ‘Howard I know?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Hugh’ ~ ‘Hugh who?’ ~ ‘Hugh wouldn’t believe me if I told you!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Hugo’ ~ ‘Hugo who?’ ~ ‘Hugo first, I’m right behind you!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Ice cream!’ ~ ‘Ice cream who?’ ~ ‘Ice cream if you don’t let me in!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Imogen.’ ~ ‘Imogen who?’ ~ ‘Imogen life without chocolate!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Interupting cow’ ~ ‘Interupting cow wh..’>‘MOOO!!’<

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Isabel’ ~ ‘Isabel who?’ ~ ‘Isabel broken, because I had to knock!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Ivan’ ~ ‘Ivan who?’ ~ ‘Ivan infectious disease!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Ivor’ ~ ‘Ivor who?’ ~ ‘Ivor good mind not to tell you!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Jeffrey’ ~ ‘Jeffrey who?’ ~ ‘Jeffrey time I knock, you ask me who I am!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Jester’ ~ ‘Jester who?’ ~ ‘Jester minute I’m trying to find my keys!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Jim’ ~ ‘Jim who?’ ~ ‘Jim mind if I come in!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Judy’ ~ ‘Judy who!’ ~ ‘Judy liver newspapers?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Juicy’ ~ ‘Juicy who!’ ~ ‘Juicy what I just saw!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Justin’ ~ ‘Justin who?’ ~ ‘Justin time to let me in!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Ken’ ~ ‘Ken who?’ ~ ‘Ken I come in, it’s freezing out here?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Kenya’ ~ ‘Kenya who?’ ~ ‘Kenya not guess who is it?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Ketchup’ ~ ‘Ketchup who?’ ~ ‘Ketchup with me and I’ll tell you!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Lena’ ~ ‘Lena who?’ ~ ‘Lena little closer and I’ll tell you!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Lettuce’ ~ ‘Lettuce who?’ ~ ‘Lettuce in and I’ll tell you!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Little old lady’ ~ ‘Little old lady who?’ ~ ‘I didn’t know you could yodel!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Lucy’ ~ ‘Lucy who?’ ~ ‘Lucy Lastic can be embarrassing!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Lydia’ ~ ‘Lydia who?’ ~ ‘Lydia teapot is broken!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Major’ ~ ‘Major who?’ ~ ‘Major answer didn’t I!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Mandy’ ~ ‘Mandy who?’ ~ ‘Mandy lifeboats, we’re sinking!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Mary’ ~ ‘Mary who?’ ~ ‘Mary Christmas!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Me’ ~ ‘Me who?’ ~ ‘I didn’t know you had a cat!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Midas’ ~ ‘Midas who?’ ~ ‘Midas well open the door!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Mister’ ~ ‘Mister who?’ ~ ‘Mister last bus home!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Mort’ ~ ‘Mort who?’ ~ ‘Mort to the point, who are you?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Muffin’ ~ ‘Muffin who?’ ~ ‘Muffin the matter with me, how about you?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Nicholas’ ~ ‘Nicholas who?’ ~ ‘Nicholas girls shouldn’t climb trees!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Noah’ ~ ‘Noah who?’ ~ ‘Noah don’t know who you are either!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Nobody’ ~ ‘Nobody who?’ ~ ‘Just nobody!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Noise’ ~ ‘Noise who?’ ~ ‘Noise to see you!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Norma’ ~ ‘Norma who?’ ~ ‘Normally I have a key!’

‘Neutrino…’ ‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’…

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Oil’ ~ ‘Oil who?’ ~ ‘Oil be seeing you as soon as you let me in!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Olga’ ~ ‘Olga who?’ ~ ‘Olga home if you don’t open this door!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Olive’ ~ ‘Olive who?’ ~ ‘Olive next door to you!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Omelette’ ~ ‘Omelette who?’ ~ ‘Omeletting the cat in, open the door!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Opportunity’ ~ ‘Don’t be silly, opportunity doesn’t knock twice!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Orange’ ~ ‘Orange who?’ ~ ‘Orange you going to let me in?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Oreo’ ~ ‘Oreo who?’ ~ ‘When Oreo going to open this door!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Owl’ ~ ‘Owl who?’ ~ ‘Owl I can say is knock knock!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Paul’ ~ ‘Paul who?’ ~ ‘Paul harder, the door’s stuck again!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Pier’ ~ ‘Pier who?’ ~ ‘Pier through the keyhole and you’ll see!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Plato’ ~ ‘Plato who?’ ~ ‘Plato fish and chips please’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Quaint’ ~ ‘Quaint who?’ ~ ‘Quaint you going to let me in?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Qualm’ ~ ‘Qualm who?’ ~ ‘Qualm before the storm!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Quay’ ~ ‘Quay who?’ ~ ‘Quay pon leaving me out here and there’ll be trouble!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Queue’ ~ ‘Queue who?’ ~ ‘Queue can let me in now!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Quit’ ~ ‘Quit who?’ ~ ‘Quit locking me out!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Renata’ ~ ‘Renata who?’ ~ ‘Renata milk; could I borrow some?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Robin’ ~ ‘Robin who?’ ~ ‘Robin the rich to give to the poor!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Salmon’ ~ ‘Salmon who?’ ~ ‘Salmon chanted evening, you may see a stranger…’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Sari’ ~ ‘Sari who?’ ~ ‘Sari, wrong house!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Says’ ~ ‘Says who?’ ~ ‘Says me, that’s who!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Scold’ ~ ‘Scald who?’ ~ ‘Scald outside, let me in!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Scott’ ~ ‘Scott who?’ ~ ‘Scott nothing to do with you!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Sesame’ ~ ‘Sesame who?’ ~ ‘Open sesame!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Seymour’ ~ ‘Seymour who?’ ~ ‘Seymour if you had glass in the door’

‘Knock, knock, knock!, Penny? ‘Knock, knock, knock!, Penny? ‘Knock, knock, knock!, Penny? ~ ‘SHELDON!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Sherwood’ ~ ‘Sherwood who?’ ~ ‘Sherwood like to come in!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Shirley’ ~ ‘Shirley who?’ ~ ‘Shirley you know who I am?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Signor’ ~ ‘Signor who?’ ~ ‘Signor light on, so I knocked!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Sloane’ ~ ‘Sloane who?’ ~ ‘Sloanely outside, let me in!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Sofa’ ~ ‘Sofa who?’ ~ ‘Sofa, so good, now let me in!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Sonia’ ~ ‘Sonia who?’ ~ ‘Sonia postman with a parcel!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Snow’ ~ ‘Snow who?’ ~ ‘Snow good asking me, I don’t know!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Stan’ ~ ‘Stan who?’ ~ ‘Stan back, I’m coming in!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Stopwatch’ ~ ‘Stopwatch who?’ ~ ‘Stopwatch you’re doing and let me in!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Sultan’ ~ ‘Sultan who?’ ~ ‘Sultan pepper!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Tank’ ~ ‘Tank who?’ ~ ‘You’re welcome!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Tennis’ ~ ‘Tennis who?’ ~ ‘Tennis five plus five!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Teresa’ ~ ‘Teresa who?’ ~ ‘Teresa green!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Thayer’ ~ ‘Thayer who?’ ~ ‘Thayer sorry and I won’t thay another thing!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Thermos’ ~ ‘Thermos who?’ ~ ‘Thermos be a better knock knock joke than this!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Whose their?’ ~ ‘The spelling police!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Thistle’ ~ ‘Thistle who?’ ~ ‘Thistle be the last time I knock on this door!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Tish’ ~ ‘Tish who?’ ~ ‘Bless you!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Titus’ ~ ‘Titus who?’ ~ ‘Titus it can be!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘To’ ~ ‘To who?’ ~ ‘No, no, no; to whom!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Tobias’ ~ ‘Tobias who?’ ~ ‘Tobias a pig, that’s why I went to market!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Toby’ ~ ‘Toby who?’ ~ ‘Toby or not Toby, that is the question!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Toodle’ ~ ‘Toodle who?’ ~ ‘Goodbye!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Toucan’ ~ ‘Toucan who?’ ~ ‘Toucan live as cheaply as one!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Touch’ ~ ‘Touch who?’ ~ ‘Touch me and I’ll screem!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Tuba’ ~ ‘Tuba who?’ ~ ‘Tuba toothpaste!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Tuna’ ~ ‘Tuna who?’ ~ ‘You can tuna a piano, but you can’t tuna fish!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Turner’ ~ ‘Turner who?’ ~ ‘Turner round, there’s something behind you!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Turnip’ ~ ‘Turnip who?’ ~ ‘Turnip late again and your fired!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Twit’ ~ ‘Twit who?’ ~ ‘Do you have an owl in there?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Uphill’ ~ ‘Uphill who?’ ~ ‘Uphill’s easier to swallow with water!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Uruguay’ ~ ‘Uruguay who?’ ~ ‘Uraguay and I’m a girl!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Vanda’ ~ ‘Vanda who?’ ~ ‘Vanda you vant me to come in?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Verdi’ ~ ‘Verdi who?’ ~ ‘Verdi you get those curtains?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Waddle’ ~ ‘Waddle who?’ ~ ‘Waddle you give me to go away?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Waiter’ ~ ‘Waiter who?’ ~ ‘Waiter minute, it’ll come back to me…’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Wanda’ ~ ‘Wanda who?’ ~ ‘Wanda when you’ll let me in?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Wander’ ~ ‘Wander who?’ ~ ‘Wander buy some cookies?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Ward’ ~ ‘Ward who?’ ~ ‘Ward do you care who it is?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Watson’ ~ ‘Watson who?’ ~ ‘Watson the menu today?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Wayne’ ~ ‘Wayne who?’ ~ ‘Wayne are you going to let me in?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Weaken’ ~ ‘Weaken who?’ ~ ‘Weaken work it out, just let me in!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Will’ ~ ‘Will who?’ ~ ‘Will you let me in please?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Wilma’ ~ ‘Wilma who?’ ~ ‘Wilma lunch be ready soon?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Woo! ’ ~ ‘Woo who?’ ~ ‘Don’t sound so excited, we’re Trick or Treaters dressed as ghosts. Now give us cash.’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Wooden shoe’ ~ ‘Wooden shoe who?’ ~ ‘Wooden shoe like to know!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Xenia’ ~ ‘Xenia who?’ ~ ‘Xenia through the keyhole!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Xenophile’ ~ ‘Xenophile who?’ ~ ‘Xenophile anywhere? I’ve lost mine!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘X-ray’ ~ ‘X-ray who?’ ~ ‘X-ray Ted!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Yah’ ~ ‘Yah who?’ ~ ‘Ride em cowboy!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Yam’ ~ ‘Yam who?’ ~ ‘I Yam what I yam!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Yelp’ ~ ‘Yelp who?’ ~ ‘Yelp me please, by dose is stuck in the keyhole!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘You’ ~ ‘You who?’ ~ ‘Did you call?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Yukon’ ~ ‘Yukon who?’ ~ ‘Yukon let me in now!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Yul’ ~ ‘Yul who?’ ~ ‘Yul never guess!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Yvonne’ ~ ‘Yvonne who?’ ~ ‘Yvonne to come in!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Zap’ ~ ‘Zap who?’ ~ ‘Zap bout time you opened this door!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Zealot’ ~ ‘Zealot who?’ ~ ‘Zealot of us waiting to come in!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Zebra’ ~ ‘Zebra who?’ ~ ‘Zebra iz too tight, I voot like to exchange it for a larger size!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Zepher’ ~ ‘Zepher who?’ ~ ‘Zepher nately time to open the door!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Zero’ ~ ‘Zero who?’ ~ ‘Zero of ze doorbells are all broken, so I had to knock!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Zone’ ~ ‘Zone who?’ ~ ‘Zonely me, can I come in?’

Know Pun Intended Promo Logo L

For other stuff in this blog, click on these links:

 

Humour

Puns and word-play

Quotations

 

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About MumblingNerd
Love, equality and tolerance, not hate. Humour, puns, cats and Nottingham, also a chocolate 'tester' and social media botherer. I’m Roy Manterfield by the way, or MumblingNerd online. I live in Nottingham in the UK and I post inane comments on social media.

8 Responses to Knock, knock…

  1. Dave Lucas says:

    I’d like to add one if I may:
    ‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘To’ ~ ‘To who?’ ~ ‘No, it’s ‘To whom’’.

  2. MumblingNerd says:

    Ah, one of those words I’ve yet to get to grips with. I can read that it’s ‘the singular and plural objective case of who’, but I seem to have a deep-seated antipathy to understanding its terminology and use. I would personally like to do away with a few words such as whom, whilst, phlegm, diarrhoea and fuddle; either because of the sound, the annoying spelling, a preference for alternatives, or because of squirmingly embarrassing associations with expressions such as fuddle.
    :^)

  3. kalabalu says:

    Knock KNock :)
    why don’t you ring the bell ?
    I like knock knock better..got words that rhyme and chill :))

  4. Colin says:

    I don’t get the ‘Neutrino…’ ‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’… one. Is it a mistake or am I missing something?

    • MumblingNerd says:

      Ah, yes… I think the joke came out around the end of 2011, based on some erroneous results when physicists thought they’d observed neutrinos exceeding the speed of light, which would have meant that time travel would look more feasible. Hence the neutrino answering ‘Neutrino’ before ‘Knock, knock!’ and the question ‘Who’s there?’ :^)

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