Knock, knock…

 

I don’t think these need an intro…

 

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Abyssinia’ ~ ‘Abyssinia who?’ ~ ‘Abyssinia when I get back!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Adair’ ~ ‘Adair who?’ ~ ‘Adair once, but now I’m bald!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Adam’ ~ ‘Adam who?’ ~ ‘Adam up and give me the total!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Adolf’ ~ ‘Adolf who?’ ~ ‘Adolf ball hit me in de mowf!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Ahmed’ ~ ‘Ahmed who?’ ~ ‘Ahmed a big mistake coming here!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Aladdin’ ~ ‘Aladdin who?’ ~ ‘Aladdin the street wants a word with you!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Alex’ ~ ‘Alex who?’ ~ ‘Alex plain later!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Alfred’ ~ ‘Alfred who?’ ~ ‘Alfred the needle if you sew!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Ali’ ~ ‘Ali who?’ ~ ‘Ali Mentary my dear Watson!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Alison’ ~ ‘Alison who?’ ~ ‘Alison to my radio in the mornings!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Ammonia’ ~ ‘Ammonia who?’ ~ ‘Ammonia little person and I can’t reach the doorbell!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Amy’ ~ ‘Amy who?’ ~ ‘Amy fraid I’ve forgotten!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Annie’ ~ ‘Annie who?’ ~ ‘Annie one you like!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Arch’ ~ ‘Arch who?’ ~ ‘Gesundheit!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Bashful’ ~ ‘Bashful who?’ ~ ‘I can’t tell you, I’m too bashful!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Beats’ ~ ‘Beats who?’ ~ ‘Beats me, I forgot the joke!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Bigotry’ ~ ‘Bigotry who?’ ~ ‘Bigotry than the one in your garden!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Bless’ ~ ‘Bless who?’ ~ ‘Thanks, but I didn’t sneeze!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Broken pencil’ ~ ‘Broken pencil who?’ ~ ‘Never mind; it’s pointless…’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Chester’ ~ ‘Chester who?’ ~ ‘Chester minute, don’t you recognise me?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Cows’ ~ ‘Cows who?’ ~ ‘No, cows moo!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Danielle’ ~ ‘Danielle who?’ ~ ‘Danielle so loud, I heard you the first time!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Des’ ~ ‘Des who?’ ~ ‘Des no bell, that’s why I’m knocking!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Diana’ ~ ‘Diana who?’ ~ ‘Diana thirst, can I have some water please?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Dishes’ ~ ‘Dishes who?’ ~ ‘Dishes the police, open up!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Dismay’ ~ ‘Dismay who?’ ~ ‘Dismay surprise you, but I want to come in!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Doctor’ ~ ‘Doctor who?’ ~ ‘That’s right; where’s my Tardis?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Doorbell Repairman!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Doughnut’ ~ ‘Doughnut who!’ ~ ‘Doughnut open the door whatever you do!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Duke’ ~ ‘Duke who?’ ~ ‘Duke come here often!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Dunnap’ ~ ‘Dunnap who?’ ~ ‘Eeeugh!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Egbert’ ~ ‘Egbert who?’ ~ ‘Egbert no bacon please!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Eileen’ ~ ‘Eileen who?’ ~ ‘Eileen’d on your doorbell and broke it!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Ellis’ ~ ‘Ellis who?’ ~ ‘Ellis before M in the dictionary!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Elsie’ ~ ‘Elsie who?’ ~ ‘Elsie you later!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Emma’ ~ ‘Emma who?’ ~ ‘Emma bit cold out here, will you let me in?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Europe’ ~ ‘Europe who?’ ~ ‘Europe early this morning!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Europe’ ~ ‘Europe who?’ ~ ‘Noooo, you’re a poo!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Eva’ ~ ‘Eva who?’ ~ ‘Eva you’re deaf or your doorbell isn’t working!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Ewan’ ~ ‘Ewan who?’ ~ ‘No, just me!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Fitzwilliam’ ~ ‘Fitzwilliam who?’ ~ ‘Fitzwilliam better than it fits me!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Francis’ ~ ‘Francis who?’ ~ ‘Francis on the other side of the Channel!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Gladys’ ~ ‘Gladys who!’ ~ ‘Gladys Friday, aren’t you!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Gorilla’ ~ ‘Gorilla who?’ ~ ‘Gorilla cheese sandwich for me and I’ll be right over!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Gus’ ~ ‘Gus who?’ ~ ‘That’s what you’re supposed to do!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Hammond’ ~ ‘Hammond who?’ ~ ‘Hammond cheese on toast, please!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Handsome’ ~ ‘Handsome who?’ ~ ‘Handsome chocolate over and I’ll tell you!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Harriet’ ~ ‘Harriet who?’ ~ ‘Harriet all my lunch, I’m starving!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Harry’ ~ ‘Harry who?’ ~ ‘Harry up and open this door!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Hawaii’ ~ ‘Hawaii who?’ ~ ‘I’m fine thanks, how are you!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Heaven’ ~ ‘Heaven who?’ ~ ‘Heaven seen you in ages!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Hell’ ~ ‘Hell who?’ ~ ‘Hello to you too!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Henrietta’ ~ ‘Henrietta who?’ ~ ‘Henrietta toadstool, but thought it was a mushroom!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Hijack’ ~ ‘Hijack who?’ ~ ‘Hijack, how’s Jill?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Honeydew’ ~ ‘Honeydew who?’ ~ ‘Honeydew you want to come out tonight?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Howard’ ~ ‘Howard who?’ ~ ‘Howard I know?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Hugh’ ~ ‘Hugh who?’ ~ ‘Hugh wouldn’t believe me if I told you!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Hugo’ ~ ‘Hugo who?’ ~ ‘Hugo first, I’m right behind you!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Ice cream!’ ~ ‘Ice cream who?’ ~ ‘Ice cream if you don’t let me in!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Imogen.’ ~ ‘Imogen who?’ ~ ‘Imogen life without chocolate!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Interupting cow’ ~ ‘Interupting cow wh..’>‘MOOO!!’<

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Isabel’ ~ ‘Isabel who?’ ~ ‘Isabel broken, because I had to knock!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Ivan’ ~ ‘Ivan who?’ ~ ‘Ivan infectious disease!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Ivor’ ~ ‘Ivor who?’ ~ ‘Ivor good mind not to tell you!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Jeffrey’ ~ ‘Jeffrey who?’ ~ ‘Jeffrey time I knock, you ask me who I am!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Jester’ ~ ‘Jester who?’ ~ ‘Jester minute I’m trying to find my keys!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Jim’ ~ ‘Jim who?’ ~ ‘Jim mind if I come in!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Judy’ ~ ‘Judy who!’ ~ ‘Judy liver newspapers?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Juicy’ ~ ‘Juicy who!’ ~ ‘Juicy what I just saw!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Justin’ ~ ‘Justin who?’ ~ ‘Justin time to let me in!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Ken’ ~ ‘Ken who?’ ~ ‘Ken I come in, it’s freezing out here?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Kenya’ ~ ‘Kenya who?’ ~ ‘Kenya not guess who is it?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Ketchup’ ~ ‘Ketchup who?’ ~ ‘Ketchup with me and I’ll tell you!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Lena’ ~ ‘Lena who?’ ~ ‘Lena little closer and I’ll tell you!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Lettuce’ ~ ‘Lettuce who?’ ~ ‘Lettuce in and I’ll tell you!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Little old lady’ ~ ‘Little old lady who?’ ~ ‘I didn’t know you could yodel!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Lucy’ ~ ‘Lucy who?’ ~ ‘Lucy Lastic can be embarrassing!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Lydia’ ~ ‘Lydia who?’ ~ ‘Lydia teapot is broken!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Major’ ~ ‘Major who?’ ~ ‘Major answer didn’t I!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Mandy’ ~ ‘Mandy who?’ ~ ‘Mandy lifeboats, we’re sinking!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Mary’ ~ ‘Mary who?’ ~ ‘Mary Christmas!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Me’ ~ ‘Me who?’ ~ ‘I didn’t know you had a cat!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Midas’ ~ ‘Midas who?’ ~ ‘Midas well open the door!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Mister’ ~ ‘Mister who?’ ~ ‘Mister last bus home!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Mort’ ~ ‘Mort who?’ ~ ‘Mort to the point, who are you?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Muffin’ ~ ‘Muffin who?’ ~ ‘Muffin the matter with me, how about you?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Nicholas’ ~ ‘Nicholas who?’ ~ ‘Nicholas girls shouldn’t climb trees!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Noah’ ~ ‘Noah who?’ ~ ‘Noah don’t know who you are either!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Nobody’ ~ ‘Nobody who?’ ~ ‘Just nobody!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Noise’ ~ ‘Noise who?’ ~ ‘Noise to see you!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Norma’ ~ ‘Norma who?’ ~ ‘Normally I have a key!’

‘Neutrino…’ ‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’…

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Oil’ ~ ‘Oil who?’ ~ ‘Oil be seeing you as soon as you let me in!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Olga’ ~ ‘Olga who?’ ~ ‘Olga home if you don’t open this door!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Olive’ ~ ‘Olive who?’ ~ ‘Olive next door to you!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Omelette’ ~ ‘Omelette who?’ ~ ‘Omeletting the cat in, open the door!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Opportunity’ ~ ‘Don’t be silly, opportunity doesn’t knock twice!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Orange’ ~ ‘Orange who?’ ~ ‘Orange you going to let me in?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Oreo’ ~ ‘Oreo who?’ ~ ‘When Oreo going to open this door!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Owl’ ~ ‘Owl who?’ ~ ‘Owl I can say is knock knock!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Paul’ ~ ‘Paul who?’ ~ ‘Paul harder, the door’s stuck again!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Pier’ ~ ‘Pier who?’ ~ ‘Pier through the keyhole and you’ll see!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Plato’ ~ ‘Plato who?’ ~ ‘Plato fish and chips please’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Quaint’ ~ ‘Quaint who?’ ~ ‘Quaint you going to let me in?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Qualm’ ~ ‘Qualm who?’ ~ ‘Qualm before the storm!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Quay’ ~ ‘Quay who?’ ~ ‘Quay pon leaving me out here and there’ll be trouble!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Queue’ ~ ‘Queue who?’ ~ ‘Queue can let me in now!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Quit’ ~ ‘Quit who?’ ~ ‘Quit locking me out!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Renata’ ~ ‘Renata who?’ ~ ‘Renata milk; could I borrow some?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Robin’ ~ ‘Robin who?’ ~ ‘Robin the rich to give to the poor!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Salmon’ ~ ‘Salmon who?’ ~ ‘Salmon chanted evening, you may see a stranger…’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Sari’ ~ ‘Sari who?’ ~ ‘Sari, wrong house!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Says’ ~ ‘Says who?’ ~ ‘Says me, that’s who!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Scold’ ~ ‘Scald who?’ ~ ‘Scald outside, let me in!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Scott’ ~ ‘Scott who?’ ~ ‘Scott nothing to do with you!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Sesame’ ~ ‘Sesame who?’ ~ ‘Open sesame!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Seymour’ ~ ‘Seymour who?’ ~ ‘Seymour if you had glass in the door’

‘Knock, knock, knock!, Penny? ‘Knock, knock, knock!, Penny? ‘Knock, knock, knock!, Penny? ~ ‘SHELDON!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Sherwood’ ~ ‘Sherwood who?’ ~ ‘Sherwood like to come in!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Shirley’ ~ ‘Shirley who?’ ~ ‘Shirley you know who I am?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Signor’ ~ ‘Signor who?’ ~ ‘Signor light on, so I knocked!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Sloane’ ~ ‘Sloane who?’ ~ ‘Sloanely outside, let me in!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Sofa’ ~ ‘Sofa who?’ ~ ‘Sofa, so good, now let me in!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Sonia’ ~ ‘Sonia who?’ ~ ‘Sonia postman with a parcel!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Snow’ ~ ‘Snow who?’ ~ ‘Snow good asking me, I don’t know!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Stan’ ~ ‘Stan who?’ ~ ‘Stan back, I’m coming in!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Stopwatch’ ~ ‘Stopwatch who?’ ~ ‘Stopwatch you’re doing and let me in!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Sultan’ ~ ‘Sultan who?’ ~ ‘Sultan pepper!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Tank’ ~ ‘Tank who?’ ~ ‘You’re welcome!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Tennis’ ~ ‘Tennis who?’ ~ ‘Tennis five plus five!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Teresa’ ~ ‘Teresa who?’ ~ ‘Teresa green!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Thayer’ ~ ‘Thayer who?’ ~ ‘Thayer sorry and I won’t thay another thing!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Thermos’ ~ ‘Thermos who?’ ~ ‘Thermos be a better knock knock joke than this!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Whose their?’ ~ ‘The spelling police!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Thistle’ ~ ‘Thistle who?’ ~ ‘Thistle be the last time I knock on this door!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Tish’ ~ ‘Tish who?’ ~ ‘Bless you!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Titus’ ~ ‘Titus who?’ ~ ‘Titus it can be!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘To’ ~ ‘To who?’ ~ ‘No, no, no; to whom!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Tobias’ ~ ‘Tobias who?’ ~ ‘Tobias a pig, that’s why I went to market!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Toby’ ~ ‘Toby who?’ ~ ‘Toby or not Toby, that is the question!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Toodle’ ~ ‘Toodle who?’ ~ ‘Goodbye!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Toucan’ ~ ‘Toucan who?’ ~ ‘Toucan live as cheaply as one!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Touch’ ~ ‘Touch who?’ ~ ‘Touch me and I’ll scream!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Tuba’ ~ ‘Tuba who?’ ~ ‘Tuba toothpaste!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Tuna’ ~ ‘Tuna who?’ ~ ‘You can tuna a piano, but you can’t tuna fish!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Turner’ ~ ‘Turner who?’ ~ ‘Turner round, there’s something behind you!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Turnip’ ~ ‘Turnip who?’ ~ ‘Turnip late again and your fired!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Twit’ ~ ‘Twit who?’ ~ ‘Do you have an owl in there?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Uphill’ ~ ‘Uphill who?’ ~ ‘Uphill’s easier to swallow with water!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Uruguay’ ~ ‘Uruguay who?’ ~ ‘Uraguay and I’m a girl!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Vanda’ ~ ‘Vanda who?’ ~ ‘Vanda you vant me to come in?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Verdi’ ~ ‘Verdi who?’ ~ ‘Verdi you get those curtains?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Waddle’ ~ ‘Waddle who?’ ~ ‘Waddle you give me to go away?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Waiter’ ~ ‘Waiter who?’ ~ ‘Waiter minute, it’ll come back to me…’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Wanda’ ~ ‘Wanda who?’ ~ ‘Wanda when you’ll let me in?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Wander’ ~ ‘Wander who?’ ~ ‘Wander buy some cookies?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Ward’ ~ ‘Ward who?’ ~ ‘Ward do you care who it is?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Watson’ ~ ‘Watson who?’ ~ ‘Watson the menu today?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Wayne’ ~ ‘Wayne who?’ ~ ‘Wayne are you going to let me in?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Weaken’ ~ ‘Weaken who?’ ~ ‘Weaken work it out, just let me in!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Will’ ~ ‘Will who?’ ~ ‘Will you let me in please?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Wilma’ ~ ‘Wilma who?’ ~ ‘Wilma lunch be ready soon?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Woo! ’ ~ ‘Woo who?’ ~ ‘Don’t sound so excited, we’re Trick or Treaters dressed as ghosts. Now give us cash.’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Wooden shoe’ ~ ‘Wooden shoe who?’ ~ ‘Wooden shoe like to know!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Xenia’ ~ ‘Xenia who?’ ~ ‘Xenia through the keyhole!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Xenophile’ ~ ‘Xenophile who?’ ~ ‘Xenophile anywhere? I’ve lost mine!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘X-ray’ ~ ‘X-ray who?’ ~ ‘X-ray Ted!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Yah’ ~ ‘Yah who?’ ~ ‘Ride em cowboy!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Yam’ ~ ‘Yam who?’ ~ ‘I Yam what I yam!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Yelp’ ~ ‘Yelp who?’ ~ ‘Yelp me please, by dose is stuck in the keyhole!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘You’ ~ ‘You who?’ ~ ‘Did you call?’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Yukon’ ~ ‘Yukon who?’ ~ ‘Yukon let me in now!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Yul’ ~ ‘Yul who?’ ~ ‘Yul never guess!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Yvonne’ ~ ‘Yvonne who?’ ~ ‘Yvonne to come in!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Zap’ ~ ‘Zap who?’ ~ ‘Zap bout time you opened this door!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Zealot’ ~ ‘Zealot who?’ ~ ‘Zealot of us waiting to come in!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Zebra’ ~ ‘Zebra who?’ ~ ‘Zebra iz too tight, I voot like to exchange it for a larger size!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Zepher’ ~ ‘Zepher who?’ ~ ‘Zepher nately time to open the door!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Zero’ ~ ‘Zero who?’ ~ ‘Zero of ze doorbells are all broken, so I had to knock!’

‘Knock, knock!’ ~ ‘Who’s there?’ ~ ‘Zone’ ~ ‘Zone who?’ ~ ‘Zonely me, can I come in?’

For other stuff in this blog, click on these links:

 

Humour

Puns and word-play

Quotations