Section J K L

Diction Hairy of Reeve Eyes Deaf Finnish Huns

(Dictionary of Revised Definitions)

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Jackpot (n): device for lifting heavy pots
Jacobean (n): dish made of pulses, popular during the reign of King James I
Jacquard (n): upstanding Frenchman
Jamaica (n): no, she went of her own accord
Jamaica (n): person who makes fruit preserves
Jamb (n): lamb in a tight space
Jamboree (n): obsessive preserves maker
Jangle (n): posh jungle
Jargon (n): misplaced marmalade
Jaundice (n): yellow dice
Jejune (n): fefavourite sesummer mumonth
Jellification (n): like gentrification, but wobblier
Jet (contr): French contraction of ‘Je t’aime’
Jetlag (v): to insulate an aeroplane
Jetsam (n): like flotsam, but much faster
Jettison (n): juvenile aeroplane
Jimjams (n): fruit preserves eaten at bedtime
Jingoism (n): religious use of bells
Jitterbug (n): very nervous insect
Jocular (n): humorous vein
Jojoba (n): laugh or chuckle of a Spanish Santa Claus
Jostle (v): to bump into a joss stick
Jowl (n): chin of an owl
Jubilant (n): ecstatic ant
Judgmental (n): barmy magistrate
Judicious (n): tasty magistrate
Juggernaut (n): the first jug into space
Juggling (v): to keep several jugs in the air at once
Jukebox (n): coffin for a member of the nobility
Junction (v): to spurn trash
Junior (n): first few days of June
Jurassic (n): to be taken ill on jury service
Juvenile (n): stream flowing towards Egypt


Kaleidoscope (n): to bump into a telescope
Kama Sutra (n): serene stitch
Kamikaze (n): suicidal toilet
Kansas (n): bottom of a can
Karate (n): Japanese technique for chopping carrots
Keepsake (n): Japanese alcoholic drink with a long shelf life
Kentucky (n): what Ken does with his shirt tails
Kenya (n): question, usually answered with: “No, I can’t”
Kernel (n): military rank
Ketch (n): main ingredient in ketchup
Ketchup (v): to run after tomato sauce
Kevlar (n): Scandinavian form of Kevin
Keyboard (n): when keys become jaded
Keynote (n): lockable Post-it
Khaki (n): light brown ignition key
Kidney (n): central joint of a child’s leg
Kilobit (v): past tense of Kilobyte
Kilohertz (n): effect of dropping a kilo
Kimono (n): singular form of kistereo
Kindling (n): an immature Kindle
Kindness (n): more sympathetic than Loch Ness
Kindred (n): fear of relatives
Kingfisher (n): Royal lifeguard
Kingmaker (n): pivotal job at manufacturer of chess sets
Kipper (n): sleeping person
Kite mark (n): scar caused by kite flying accident
Kittiwake (n): alarm call for young cats
Knackwurst (n): German for ‘least favourite testicle’
Knapsack (n): sleeping bag
Knick-knack (v): testicular scissor mishap
Knighthood (n): chivalrous head covering
Knocking (v): to criticise the monarchy
Koala (n): Australian brand of cola
Kookaburra (n): Australian for ‘smoked rabbit’


Lacklustre (n): reduced sex drive
Lacquered (n): tired Frenchman
Lactate (n): needing an art gallery
Lactic (n): digital clock
Lagoon (n): French idiot
Lambadas (n): belligerent young sheep
Lambast (n): mutton cooking technique
Language (n): device to guage a local area network (LAN)
Largesse (n): posh way to say big bottom
Lassitude (n): disobedient sheepdog
Lassitude (n): female lager lout
Latitude (n): coffee thick enough to gnaw
Launch (n): posh midday meal
Lavish (n): a bit like a toilet
Lawful (n): awful, but legal
Leak (n): dripping Welsh vegetable
Lecturer (n): a lecherous person
Legend (n): location of feet
Legendary (n): famous milkman
Legible (n): literate ruminant
Legitimate (n): a lawful friend
Lesson (n): stages of undressing
Leverage (n): old handle
Liability (n): political skill
Libido (n): French bathroom apparatus
Linctus (n): social networking
Lingo (n): bark of an Australian dog
Linguistic (n): a type of pasta
Lionisation (n): celebrity lion
Liquid (v): to lick a UK pound
Liquidate (n): to meet someone in a bar
Listening (n): not quite as sparkly as glistening
Litigant (n): ant involved in a lawsuit
Litigate (n): entrance to a library
Litterbug (n): untidy insect
Livelihood (n): active gangster
Loafers (n): bread for feet
Locomotive (n): a reason to act insane
Logarithm (n): lumberjack at work
Loin (n): a lion that can’t spell
Lonesome (n): what banks used to do
Longitude (v): leisurely eating
Lotion (n): moisturiser with zero calories
Lotion (n): motion at low altitude
Lottery (n): a tax on people who are bad at maths
Ludicrous (n): attitude when playing Ludo
Lurking (n): French word for royalty
Lymph (v): to walk with a lisp

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