V

Valet (n): a French dale or gorge
Vanish (n): a bit like a van
Vanish (v): cyclist’s least favourite style of vehicle driving
Vapid (n): much slower than rapid
Varnish (n): similar to the water planet Varn in the Quelii Sector of the Outer Rim Territories
Vegetate (n): artistic vegetable display
Velociraptor (n): very fast rapper
Vendetta (n): frozen dessert with a grudge
Vendetta (n): Italian vending machine
Veneer (n): someone to venerate
Veneer (n): venereal coating
Ventilate (n): to question opening times
Verifiable (n): kindling
Vermilion (n): too many vermin
Versatile (n): writing poetry with Scrabble letters
Version (n): to avoid poetry
Versus (n): poetry in opposition
Vertigo (n): irrational fear of French beans
Vestry (n): undergarment testing
Vestry (n): where investors practice
Viable (n): successful viaduct
Vicarious (n): unstable cleric
Vice versa (n): depraved Latin poetry
Vigilant (n): cautious ant
Violated (n): attacked with a violin
Viper (n): for viping vindscreens
Virgin (n): gin and tonic without the tonic
Viscosity (n): a gooey conurbation
Vivisection (n): only partially vivid
Vocabulary (n): like constabulary, but louder
Vocabulary (n): someone who talks about taxi cabs
Vocabulary (n): the language constabulary
Vocal (n): calorific outburst
Vocation (n): to take a break from speaking
Voluminous (n): fluorescent vole
Vulgar (n): crude vinegar

W

Wade (n): North American delay (e.g. wade a minute)
Waist (n): slimming term (e.g. waisting away)
Waistcoat (n): squandering your outer garment
Walking (n): head of Walmart
Wallaby (n): Australian lullaby
Wallet (n): small wall
Wand (v): very short wander
Wander (n): person using a wand
Wanton (n): even more desirable than wonton
Warbling (n): shiny medals
Warranty (n): Uncle’s armoured wife
Wash (n): clean ash
Washout (n): alfresco laundry
Watchtower (n): stack of timepieces
Weakness (n): Loch Ness monster’s feeble sibling
Website (n): a spider’s home
Wedlock (n): medieval chastity apparatus
Weekend (n): impotence
Weeping (n): noise made by a Scottish microwave
Weevil (n): malevolent beetle
Weight (n): wwwwwwww
Weird (n): bizarre cascade of water
Well-wisher (n): someone who wishes to see you at the bottom of a well
Wheeze (n): very strong breeze
Whelp (n): online puppy help
Whine (n): morning after too much wine
Whittle (n): hardly any whit
Wholesale (n): like a yard sale, but for holes
Wick (n): junior Wiccan
Wick (v): to steal the middle bit of a candle
Widow (n): congested window
Wiggle (v): movement of a wig
Wikileak (n): a collaborative bladder problem
Will (and Testament) (n): thinking outside the box
Winding (n): prize winning bell
Wiper (n): very clean viper
Wishy-washy (n): hoping that someone else will wash the pots
Witless (n): less observant witness
Wombat (n): Australian ball game equipment
Wooden (n): somewhere for wood to hide out
Worship (n): adulation of armed naval vessels
Wrangle (n): disagreement over geometry
Wrath (n): angry bath
Wretch (n): wrench with a stomach upset
Write (n): never wrong
Wrung (n): present tense of wrang
Wurst (n): is yet to come

X

Xanadu (v): optimistic form of xanadon’t
X-certificate (n): no longer a certificate
Xenophile (n): used to smooth the edges of xenos
Xenophobia (n): fear of magazines
Xerox (n): duplicate ox
Xiphoid (v): to avoid xiphs
X-ray (n): ray gun target
Xylophone (n): mobile or cell phone you strike with a mallet

Y

Yacht (v): unexpected sneeze
Yahweh (n): German for ‘Yes, way!’
Yam (n): ‘I think, therefore I…’
Yankee (n): American quick-release hankie
Yardage (n): three feet old
Yawn (n): an honest opinion
Yeast (n): where ye sun rises
Yell (n): hell with stereo
Yelp (n): canine yellow pages
Yen (n): having a yen to visit Japan
Ylang Ylang (n): aroma therapist’s doorbell
Yo yo dieting (n): slimming regime with strings attached
Yodelling (n): Alpine language
Yoghurt (n): pain from yoga
Yoicks (n): people from New Yoick
Yokel (n): egg farmer
Yonder (n): to ponder elsewhere
Yore (n): a word from days long gone
Yuck (n): small cutting from a yucca plant
Yum (n): half a yum yum
Yuppies (n): upwardly mobile puppies

Z

Zap (n): very fast fluid carrying nutrients around a plant
Zebra (n): extra large brassiere size
Zeitgeist (n): punctual poltergeist
Zinc (n): place to use zoap
Zing (n): near miss from shrapnel or ballistic projectile
Zombie (n): reanimated Barbie
Zoological (n): teaching caged animals to rationalize
Zoom (n): very fast room
Zoophyte (n): disputes between different species
Zucchini (n): Italian zookeeper trousers
Zygote (n): last goat species to appear in a dictionary