Loathed Language List

Wicked widespread words which wound wisdom.

Except that doesn’t really make sense. So, a short list of loathed words, well, words I don’t like anyway:

Whilst
Whilst, to me, sounds pompous and outdated. I think it’s perfectly well replaced by while and should have gone the way of thee and thou when they were supplanted by you.

Mucus, phlegm and diarrhoea
Dislike of the word mucus has to be because of its association with illness and infection. Mucus is a naturally clear and runny substance, with lubricative and protective functions, but it gets its repugnant yellow/green condition from nasal and sinus mucus with bacterial or viral infection.

I also don’t like phlegm, but that’s because I can’t spell it without looking it up; the same goes for diarrhoea. Actually, to be fair to phlegm, if you strip away its meaning, the word itself is quite soft, gentle and almost cuddly.

Stakeholder
Stakeholder is slightly annoying because it has two opposing meanings, but it mainly makes me wince because of its overuse in national and local government announcements; we all seem to be stakeholders now.

I only want to be a stakeholder in a restaurant in the company of a medium rare fillet (I know, but I did say that I can’t spell).

Actually, there are a whole raft of redundant words and phrases used to pepper ill considered Council documents that also make me grimace. Thank goodness for the Plain English Campaign.

Perfectomondo
It’s just bloody annoying.

Chintz
I don’t really like the sound of the word, it’s too sharp and it conjures up a feeling of tasteless, ostentatious and old fashioned design.

Beatnik and gonk
Oh the 1960s (more or less, give or take a few years). There’s nothing wrong with beatniks as a group/breed/species, but the word just feels like a phony and fabricated media stereotype. And as for gonk, well, doesn’t it just sum up some of the vile tat produced and sold in that decade?

Fuddle
Aarghh! No. This is just too cringy. The word itself is too ‘nice’, it’s finicky, fastidious and fussy, before you even get into its meaning. Then it triggers flashbacks of squirmingly embarrassing office parties and colleague send-offs where people stand around in awkward groups, holding plastic cups of warm fizzy wine, not talking and wishing fervently that they were anywhere else. I don’t even want to think about it anymore.

Talking about stakeholder and redundant words and phrases has reminded me of a list I once found of meaningless words to insert into documents. I was going to include it here, but I think I’ve already gone on for too long. I’ll add it later, along the lines of; Meaningful nonsense, or how to enhance the impact of official correspondence.

Lastly:

My wife dislikes okey-dokey.

My sister cringes at the words crotch and gusset.

My daughter detests cordial, elderflower, thorough and frozen. I’m starting to think she’s just a bit strange though.