Meaningful Nonsense

How to enhance the impact of official correspondence.

Some years ago I came across this method of improving the impression made by adding apparently meaningful nonsense to memos and reports.

Modus operandi

Firstly, choose a number from 000 to 999.

Then, using that number, extract the corresponding word from each column:

Column 1

0  Integrated
1  Total
2  Systematised
3  Parallel
4  Functional
5  Responsive
6  Optional
7  Synchronised
8  Compatible
9  Balanced

Column 2

0  Management
1  Organisational
2  Monitored
3  Reciprocal
4  Digital
5  Logistical
6  Transitional
7  Incremental
8  Third-generation
9  Policy

Column 3

0  Options
1  Flexibility
2  Capability
3  Mobility
4  Programming
5  Concept
6  Time-phase
7  Projection
8  Hardware
9  Contingency

Finally, insert the resultant ‘phrase’ randomly into your communication.

Examples

025: Integrated Monitored Concept
571: Responsive Incremental Flexibility
666: Optional Transitional Time-phase

The list probably needs updating, perhaps a few words such as Sustainable, Capacity, Matrix and Software.

The method’s useless really, unless you actually do have no idea what you’re reading about, but it amused and entertained me, well, for a short while anyway.