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Star Trek gags

Official 40th Anniversary Star Trek logo. Copyright 2007 Paramount Pictures and CBS Studios Inc.

Official 40th Anniversary Star Trek logo. Copyright 2007 Paramount Pictures and CBS Studios Inc.

A small miscellaneous collection of jokes for Trekkies, linked, however loosely, to various Star Trek TV series.

Well, you have to start with THE classic:

How many ears does Captain Kirk have? ~ Three: the left ear, the right ear and the final front ear

Mr Spock has pointed ears and Mr Scott has engineers

Why was Star Trek so successful? ~ It had good Genes

‘Bones’ McCoy: “I’ve borrowed Mr Scott’s bagpipes” ~ Kirk: “But you can’t play them” ~ ‘Bones’ McCoy: “While I’ve got them, neither can he”

New Year resolution ► “It’s life gym, but not as we know it.”

Why did Worf change his hair colour? ~ It was a good day to dye

Will Riker’s dating philosophy: ‘If at first you don’t succeed, try Troi again’

What do Romulan frogs use for camouflage? ~ A croaking device

The Ferengi have opened a new restaurant on the Moon; the food’s great, but there’s no atmosphere

What’s Jean-Luc’s favourite card trick? ~ Picard, any card

Ernest BORG 9

Ernest BORG 9

The Borg ~ Wrappers are futile; chocolate will be assimilated

We are the Borg; ESC is futile, CTRL is inevitable, your files will be assimilated

Star Trek Books

‘Chekov The Navigator’ I Kiptin

‘Data’s Positronic Brain’ Anne Droid

‘Resist’ Stan Sisfutile

‘You’ Will B Assimilated

‘Make it Sew’ #1 Needlework book ~ Jean-Luc Picard

Changing a light bulb

How many Vulcans does it take to change a light bulb? ~ Approximately 1.00000000000000000000000000000000

How many Klingons does it take to change a light bulb? ~ None, because Klingons aren’t afraid of the dark

How many Ferengi does it take to change a light bulb? ~ Two; one to change it and one to sell the old bulb as an antique

How many Borg does it take to change a light bulb? ~ All of them collectively

Live long and prosperHow many Enterprise crew members does it take to change a light bulb? ~ Three; one to change it and two red shirted security men to die in the process

Crossing the road

Why did Mr Scott’s chicken cross the road? ~ Because it couldna take much morrrrrrre!

Why did the Vulcan chicken cross the road? ~ It was the logical thing to do

Why did the Borg cross the road? ~ To assimilate the chicken

 

 

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For other stuff in this blog, click on these links:


Humour

Puns and word-play

Quotations



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About MumblingNerd
Love, equality and tolerance, not hate. Humour, puns, cats and Nottingham, also a chocolate 'tester' and social media botherer. I’m Roy Manterfield by the way, or MumblingNerd online. I live in Nottingham in the UK and I post inane comments on social media.

3 Responses to Star Trek gags

  1. Susan C says:

    Thank you. It’s a Monday and you have made me smile. Can’t wait to show these to my husband!

    • MumblingNerd says:

      There are a few quite good ones aren’t there? My favourite is probably: “Why did the Borg cross the road…”

      “Live long and chuckle” :^)

  2. Pingback: Quotes about chocolate « MumblingNerd's Mumbling Blog

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