Some (more) favourite quotes

 

Some (more) favourite quotes“Do all that you can, with all that you have, in the time that you have, in the place where you are” ~ Nkosi Johnson (1989-2001)

“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans” ~ John Lennon

“Press freedom / some authorities are confused by the two meanings of press” ~ Loesje

“That the only purpose for which power can be rightfully exercised over any member of a civilised community, against his will, is to prevent harm to others” ~ J S Mill

“Trust provides security / fences don’t” ~ Loesje

“Don’t follow your dreams; chase them” ~ Richard Dumb

“There is nothing constant in this world but inconsistency” ~ Jonathan Swift

“Le doute n’est pas une condition agréable, mais la certitude est absurde” ~ Voltaire

“It’s not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept” ~ Bill Watterson

“Don’t find fault, find a remedy” ~ Henry Ford

“The good thing about science is that it’s true whether or not you believe in it.” ~ Neil deGrasse Tyson

“We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world” ~ The Buddha Dhammapada

“The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those that got there first” ~ Steven Tyler

“Ask yourself this question: Will this matter a year from now?” ~ Richard Carlson

“The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven…” ~ John Milton (Paradise Lost)

“The difference between a rut and a grave is the depth” ~ Gerald Burrill

“Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it” ~ Andre Gide

“Know what’s weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything’s different” ~ Bill Watterson

“The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us” ~ Bill Watterson

“Being brave / Lets no one off the grave / Death is no different whined at than withstood” ~ from Aubade by Philip Larkin

“Life on earth is expensive / but it includes a free trip around the sun” ~ Loesje

“If you don’t read the newspaper, you are uninformed. If you do read the newspaper, you are misinformed” ~ Mark Twain

“I liked things better when I didn’t understand them” ~ Bill Watterson

“To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you are the world” ~ Anonymous

“Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get” ~ Ingrid Bergman

“Pay attention. And keep breathing” ~ Terence McKenna

“Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

“Eschew the ordinary, disdain the commonplace” ~ Chuck Jones

“If you have a single minded need for something, let it be the unusual, the esoteric, the bizarre, the unexpected” ~ Chuck Jones

“I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough. Without ever having felt sorry for itself” ~ D H Lawrence

“We think our fathers fools, so wise we grow; Our wiser sons, no doubt, will think us so” ~ Alexander Pope

“It isn’t necessary to be rich and famous to be happy. It’s only necessary to be rich” ~ Alan Alda

“If adventure doesn’t wait on the doorstep / climb out through the window” ~ Loesje

“The best number for a dinner party is two – myself and a damn’ good head waiter” ~ Nubar Gulbenkian

“The truth / which one of the three versions do you want to hear” ~ Loesje

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us” ~ Helen Keller

“Nobody really cares if you’re miserable, so you might as well be happy” ~ Cynthia Nelms

“An apostrophe is the difference between a business that knows its shit and a business that knows it’s shit.” ~ Sam Tanner

“Life is short, eat dessert first” ~ variously credited to Mark Twain, Ogden Nash, Ernestine Ulmer, Sue Ellen Cooper and Jacques Torres



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Humour

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Quotations



Sensible, prudent and rational?

A few actions and conducts that appear to be sensible, prudent and rational, but are really just another poor excuse to repeat yet more quotations:


Plan for the future, but live for now; don’t live for a future that might be better, because it may never arrive.

“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.” ~ Albert Einstein

“It’s tough to make predictions, especially about the future.” ~ Yogi Berra

“Go for it now. The future is promised to no one.” ~ Wayne Dyer


Be yourself and say what you think.

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” ~ Dr. Seuss

“It is better to be hated for what one is, than loved for what one is not.” ~ André Gide

“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.” ~ Kurt Cobain


Enjoy luxuries in small doses; too much of any one thing reduces the pleasure you take from it.

“The saddest thing I can imagine is to get used to luxury.” ~ Charlie Chaplin


Don’t complain; either do something about it or forget it and move on.

“Say and do something positive that will help the situation; it doesn’t take any brains to complain.” ~ Robert A. Cook

“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain — and most fools do.” ~ Dale Carnegie


Tell the truth; being untruthful will almost always come back to you.

“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.” ~ Mark Twain

“You never find yourself until you face the truth.” ~ Pearl Bailey


Help other people; that too will almost always come back to you.

“Help others achieve their dreams and you will achieve yours.” ~ Les Brown

“No man can help another without helping himself.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

“No matter what accomplishments you make, somebody helped you.” ~ Althea Gibson


Don’t assume anything; assumptions stifle your thoughts and actions.

“If you see the teeth of the lion, do not think that the lion is smiling at you.” ~ Al-Mutanabbi

“Many people might have attained wisdom had they not assumed they already had it.” ~

Source Unknown


Travel to new places.

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.” ~ Mark Twain

“Travel teaches tolerance.” ~ Benjamin Disraeli

“To travel is to discover that everyone is wrong about other countries.” ~ Aldous Huxley

“The more I travelled the more I realized that fear makes strangers of people who should be friends.” ~ Shirley Maclaine


Don’t expect money to make you happy.

“Money makes a good servant, but a bad master.” ~ Francis Bacon

“The only thing I like about rich people is their money.” ~ Lady Nancy Astor

“If you marry for money, you will surely earn it.” ~ Ezra Bowen


Don’t spend too much time either on your appearance or worrying; neither will solve anything in the long term.

“We would worry less about what others think of us if we realized how seldom they do.” ~ Ethel Barrett

“Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.” ~ Benjamin Franklin

“Stop worrying — nobody gets out of this world alive.” ~ Clive James


Have the courage to do things; most of the time you will be successful.

“Do something. If it works, do more of it. If it doesn’t, do something else.” ~ Franklin D. Roosevelt


Achieve things that matter to you.

“You never achieve real success unless you like what you are doing.” ~ Dale Carnegie


Work without interruption on one single thing at a time.

“The shortest way to do many things is to do only one thing at a time.” ~ Sydney Smiles


Keep your mind open to new ideas, tools and techniques.

“There will always be a frontier where there is an open mind and a willing hand.” ~ Charles F. Kettering


And last, but not least; when you do something, do it well.

“Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson


But remember:

“Believe nothing you hear, and only half of what you see.” ~ Mark Twain



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Daft stuff; humour, jokes, quips and gags

Puns and word-play

Quotations



Tweety Treats To ReTweet

A very small selection of some favourite Tweets.

@5tevenw
Cigarettes are just like ferrets, perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and set it on fire…

@seanmtully
Ah – the quiet and persistent genius: RT @MumblingNerd: I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous :^)

@JoyLashes
Fave tweet! @MumblingNerd Apparently there’s a theory that chocolate slows down the aging process; it may not be true, but why take the risk?

@mlomb
I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy. #humor

@ComicTwit
What if there were no hypothetical questions?

@OriMeissa
RT @MumblingNerd Wear short sleeves and support your right to bare arms! :^) << Groan!! Now that’s a 2nd amendment everyone can live with :)

@5tevenw
2 Eskimos in kayak were cold. They lit fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can’t have your kayak and heat it

@5tevenw
My wife says I never listen to her….or something like that.

@mrjuggles
RT @MumblingNerd: I’ve been thinking about Tweeting to someone in jail, but the sentence was too long :^)

@waivethesale
@PembDave There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who understand binary & those who don’t.

@pissyserver
Why don’t people google things? Some of my smartest friends send me emails asking me shit when googling it would yeild faster answers.

@shitmydadsays
“A mule kicked Uncle Bob once. Broke his ribs. He punched it in the face.. My point? You have an ingrown fucking toenail. Stop bitching.”

@shitmydadsays
“I hate paying bills… Son, don’t say “me too.” I didn’t say that looking to relate to you. I said it instead of “go away.”

@shitmydadsays
“The baby will talk when he talks, relax. It ain’t like he knows the cure for cancer and he just ain’t spitting it out.”

@duhism
rt Duhism Master @MumblingNerd: I bought a new jersey in Newark, Nottinghamshire, but now it’s in such a state I only wear it in the garden

@maineroots
Brilliant! RT @MumblingNerd: Why would you need both a carrot and a stick, when a very large raw carrot could fulfil both roles?

@shitmydadsays
“I turn the kitchen faucet on and the shower burns you, yes, I get it…No, I’m not gonna stop, I’m just saying yes, I get that concept.”

@Hipchickadee
I have C.D.O. It’s like O.C.D. but all the letters are in alphabetical order as they should be

@BrazenlyLiberal
RT @MumblingNerd: Read Tweet. Right wheat, rate trait, right to eat, raid treat; right sweet! Ride tight, right trite… retreat. Re Tweet.

@MumblingNerd
@indykitty I had a flat in Nottingham in the hilly bit, before that I had a flat in the flat bit, now I’m in the hilly bit without a flat

@indykitty
As soon as you make something idiot-proof, along comes a bigger idiot.

@indykitty
Two rules to live by: First, look out for #1. Second, don’t step in #2.

@MumblingNerd
Found a woollen jumper by the bus stop this morning; perhaps a driver had to pullover :^)

@TheWritersDen
New strangest tweet of the day~ @MumblingNerd ~ To wear is you man, two four give deep vine.~

@StoryofMyLife
Cool Twitter name of the day: @MumblingNerd #fb Yay!

@YouLookGreat
says take life one day at a time, but take doughnuts two at a time.

@norcross
90 people get swine flu and everyone wants to wears a mask. A million people get AIDS and yet no one wants to wear a condom. Just sayin.

@harmonyjones
Life is now. There was never a time when your life was not now, nor will there ever be.

@A_McLordy Pope says atheists pick & choose their morals. Correct. Today I will be frowning on child abuse & not having a problem with homosexuality.

@rationalbritain
RT @ MumblingNerd Friar Tuck doesn’t like spoonerisms. Heheheh…

@deathbychoccy
Men are always whining about how women suffocate them. Well, if you can still hear them whine, you’re not holding the pillow hard enough!


For other stuff in this blog, click on these links:


Humour

Puns and word-play

Quotations



Some favourite quotes



“It is bad luck to be superstitious.” – Andrew W. Mathis

“Hindsight is always twenty‑twenty.” – Oscar Wilde

“A great deal of what we see depends on what we are looking for.” – Unknown

“If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a non-working cat.” – Douglas Adams

“Before you argue with a fool make sure he is not similarly occupied.” – Willam George Plunkett

“A committee is a group of the unwilling, chosen from the unfit, to do the unnecessary.” – Anonymous

“Little old grey haired, hunchbacked, mumbling nerd.” – Alice Manterfield (on Roy Manterfield)

“The fish can be ‘heads’ because it has a head, oh wait, it has a tail as well doesn’t it!” – Grace Carlin

“A man is a fool not to put everything he has, at any given moment, into what he is creating.” – Frank Herbert

“Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.” – George Carlin

“To believe something in the face of evidence and against reason – to believe something by faith – is ignoble, irresponsible and ignorant, and merits the opposite of respect.” – A.C. Grayling

“Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.” – Douglas Adams

“In the elder days of Art,
Builders wrought with greatest care
Each minute and unseen part;
For the Gods see everywhere.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

“Friar Tuck doesn’t like spoonerisms.” – Roy Manterfield

“My absolute favourite piece of information is the fact that young sloths are so inept that they frequently grab their own arms and legs instead of tree limbs, and fall out of trees.” – Douglas Adams

“Beware of half-truths – you may have the wrong half.” – Willam George Plunkett

“When you have nothing to say, say nothing.” – Winston Churchill

“Life is just one damned thing after another.” – Joseph Heller

“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.” – Douglas Adams

“It’s a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn’t want to hear.” – Dick Cavett

“The shortest way to do many things is to do only one thing at once.” – B F Skinner

“Experience is the art of not making the same mistake too many times.” – Willam George Plunkett

“Isn’t it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?” – Douglas Adams (on religion)

“I may not have gone, where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up, where I intended to be.” – Douglas Adams

“One never notices what has been done; one can only see what remains to be done.” – Marie Curie

“[The World Wide Web is] the only thing I know of whose shortened form — www — takes three times longer to say than what it’s short for.” – Douglas Adams

“I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.” – Elizabeth Barrett Browning

“Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” – Winston Churchill

“Men are always whining about how women suffocate them. Well, if you can still hear them whine, you’re not holding the pillow hard enough!” – deathbychoccy (Twitter 11 Febraury 2009)

“Self Portraits are generally coloured.” – Willam George Plunkett

“I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it” – Groucho Marx

“Lady Nancy Astor: Winston, if you were my husband, I’d poison your tea. Churchill: Nancy, if I were your husband, I’d drink it.” – Winston Churchill

“Depend on the rabbit’s foot if you will, but remember, it didn’t work for the rabbit.” – R E Shay

“A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.” – Groucho Marx

“Life is now. There was never a time when your life was not now, nor will there ever be.” – Harmony Jones (Twitter 17 March 2009)



For other stuff in this blog, click on these links:


Humour

Puns and word-play

Quotations